What I've Become
by Lakeshine
Summary: "But that thing inside of him, that thing that drives him to sacrifice everything for the sake of his mission, that's not me. I don't want to be The Batman" Dick Grayson


**Takes place two years after Endgame, where Wally is alive not that it really makes a difference to the story. Inspired by YJ episode Disordered, Battle for the Cowl story arc, and comics with Dick as Batman and Damian (who I have fallen in love, Dc lies about his 'death') so I decided to make a story about it, YJ style so it's most likely differs from the comics (which I need to catch up on) anywho enjoy~**

**Disclaimer~ Anything in the following that you reconize, ya none of that's not mine**

**What I've Become**

_"But that thing inside of him, that thing that drives him to sacrifice everything for the sake of his mission, that's not me. I don't want to be The Batman" ~Dick Grayson_

I had told Black Canary all those years ago, back when I was Robin, when I was still on the Team, when I still had what was basically my second family, that I couldn't wouldn't ever be The Batman. I realize now that was a lie, that no matter what I tried to do that it was my destiny to take over for Bruce. _Bruce. _Thinking of my old mentor would have brought tears to my eyes if I had not locked away such feelings have I, we, realized he was not coming back, the famed Batman was dead. That's what lead me here, in the Batcave for the first time in a long time, holding the famed cowl in one gloved hand. Gotham needed a Batman and I was the only logical choice, Jason too violent and unstable, Tim to young and not yet claimed completely by the darkness that was Batman and by extension what Nightwing was for me, and not Damian, far too young and inexperienced plus he still had a lot to learn in "Bat Code' mostly to not kill the criminals. So yes that left me and despite my reluctance to don the cowl and leave Bludhaven, Gotham needed a Batman and my first loyalty would always be to the dark city that had shaped me into who I was today. But it still felt like betrayal, donning the cowl and cape would be admitting that the original Batman, Bruce, my second father was really... dead.

"Dick you know you don't have to do this" comes a comforting voice accompanied with a hand placed on my shoulder. I turn, the black fabric still clenched tight in my fist, and come face to face with Batgirl, Barbara Gordon my oldest friend with her cowl pulled down.

"Barbara you know as well as I do that I do, Gotham needs a Batman" I respond, my voice entirely devoid of the emotion I used to express so readily especially to those like her. She flinches slightly as if remembering the fun loving 13 year old I once was, that side of me was long dead having died partially with Jason's temporary death, Wally's apparent death, and finally destroyed once and for all with the death of my second father.

"Dick I know that but it can wait a little longer or J'onn could always pretend until Bruce comes back..." she tries again, her blue eyes sympathetic.

"No Barbara it can't wait, the criminals won't wait they think Batman is dead and Bruce _isn't coming back! _It's been a month Babs, a month without contact, sightings, nothing can be found! If he is alive he doesn't want to be found and if it's just because he was captured well I can't take that risk, Gotham needs her dark hero Barbara" I reply, again keeping the emotion from my voice and face. The red headed girl looks hurt from my statement, the lack of feeling in my words meaning more than the words themselves, but she nods, pulling her cowl up.

"Fine Dick... just please be careful" she says softly giving my a kiss on the cheek to which I don't react before disappearing towards the Zeta tubes. I sigh, looking after her retreating form before again looking at the fabric clenched in my fist, the famed suit of the one and only Dark Night. I turn away abruptly and head to the changing rooms, ridding myself of my own suit, the familiar black and blue of my chosen identity. I glance at the crumpled suit before pulling on that of the Bat, without another glance to the familiar persona on the ground. I squirm slightly in discomfort, not used to the stiffer coutume that would restrict my acrobatic movements, I would have to ask Alfred to fix that sometime but for now I will manage, I always do. The cowl remains down as I exit the changing room, kicking my Nightwing suit out of sight, that hero was dead so Batman could be resurrected because Gotham would except no one else. I walk over to the Batcomputer and sit in front of it, feeling out of sorts and I sense rather than hear the approach of Tim. I don't acknowledge his presence even as he stops beside me, instead allowing him to initiate the conversation.

"So you gave up?" he says, his voice sounding strained, he been forced to grow up so much since the disappearance of Bruce, patrolling Gotham solo while Batgirl and I searched for out missing mentor and father figure. He was only 16 but his girlfriend of two years, Cassie aka Wondergirl, had helped him through the tragedy so he wasn't lost in the void.

"Tim it's been a month" I reply not looking away from the large screen now displaying many of the most crime ridden streets in Gotham.

"So that doesn't mean he's gone Dick!"

"I know that Tim but Gotham needs a protector and we both know she's not going to except Robin or Batgirl or even Nightwing, she needs a Batman" I reply standing and turning to face the boy I valued as a younger brother. "Without Bruce I'm left to fill his shoes regrettably" Tim looks at his feet but nods, sadly.

"You're right but that doesn't mean I have to stay, I'm going to go look for Bruce" Tim says, giving me a determined look as if he expected me to argue. Instead I nod having expected such a response.

"I know Tim, you are free to go but not as Robin." I respond causing his eyes to widen. "Not that I want to strip you of your title but Robin belongs in Gotham with Batman" I tell him. He nods.

"I understand Dick, thank you for understanding, good luck in Gotham" he says giving me a small smile which I don't can't return. I instead nod again.

"Thank you Tim, good luck to you too. If Bruce is out there, alive, I know you'll find him." I say. He nods and exits the Batcave once more leaving me in silence I had known Tim would leave to try and find Bruce and had already asked Damian to fill in his place, as Robin in Gotham not on the Team. He had accepted without hesitation, I now waited for him. I soon hear his nearly silent footsteps and turn to look at him as he stopped at the entrance to the room. He had modified the suit, like each of us had to fit our own tastes before him, and had his arms crossed, a signature scowl on his face.

"Grayson" he says, anger shimmering under the surface of his words.

"Damian" I greet, no emotion still. "Are you ready to patrol?" He glares at me.

"You are not my father Grayson" he states. I nod, I knew that and that there was no way I could ever replace Bruce completely. I may be taking his identity but I would never be the Batman he was. "You do not yet have my respect he states bluntly "you will have to earn it" Again I nod.

"I would expect no less" I tell him pulling up the cowl for the first time. "Let's go" I say turning towards the Batmobile. He nods and follows, still giving me a glare. We both jump in and I'm soon driving off into the Gotham night, Batman and Robin reborn, ready to fight the crime of Gotham again

_"I don't want to be The Batman"_

Yet that was exactly what I had become, I had become the one thing I never wanted to be. I had become Batman.

**I will consider doing another chapter of this either Bruce being found and taking back over, Damian finally giving Dick respect, or the Team trying to convince Dick that this is bad for his health or whatever, an intervention (for being Batman, maybe taking it too far) or anything else you guys really want to see if requested. But no promises, for now this is done unless I get the urge to continue am asked. or someone recommends something irresistible that I HAVE to write. Anyway hope you all enjoyed, please**

**REVIEW**

**~Lakeshine**


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